I would walk home with him and our young son. Pew Research Center does not take policy positions. Although when no one is home like a SAHM is, the house doesn't really get dirty. It totally depends on the individual situation. Babies need full time attention and yes the list of things to get done when they nap does not make nap time break time.
9 Things Never to Say to a Stay-at-Home Mom. Why don't you ask one of the stay-at-home moms to do it? I work. What you want to say: activities become prioritized. Being a mom in General is not easy, but it is harder when you work full time outside the home. I think that when I stayed home full time it was really quite easy, I had time.
The 'Stay-at-Home' Buzz
I looked at the year we were in and the following year, and I bolted. At no point did I examine the non-monetary cost which would loom just as large. At the time it seemed forgone, two demanding careers, two small children and another on the way, two adult lives hopelessly out of control. And while it meant I would forgo a paycheck, not once did I think, at age 33, of what the job market would look like for me in years hence and therein lies my most expensive mistake.
I stayed home with my kids because I wanted to be with them. I had a job that allowed me very little time with them on weekdays and I felt our time was short. I did not stay home because I believed they needed me or that the nanny I had hired could not do a great job.
Now, on the downslope of parenting, I have misgivings about my decision to stay home. It would be far too strong a word to say I have regrets. Although I am fully aware that being a stay at home mom was certainly a luxury, staring at an empty nest and very diminished prospects of employment, I have real remorse. The book spoke to me, and my mother and grandmother spoke to me warning me not to tread the path they had taken, leaving the workforce after their children were born.
But the book and my mother spoke to a young ambitious preteen, not a young mother. Betty Friedan or not, I stayed home for almost two decades raising three sons. And on one level I felt like I was short-changing myself, those who educated, trained and believed in me by doing this.
But living in the suburbs among women of shockingly similar backgrounds, interests and aspirations, narrowed the scope of people with whom I interacted. In the workplace my contacts and friends included both genders and people of every description, and I was better for it. Some of this work was deeply meaningful and some of it trivial in the extreme.
It is very easy to feel as though you are doing something whether it is sitting on a hospital board or raising funds for a nursery school. Volunteer activities involve a flurry of activity but, at the end of it, those who are running the organization carry on and your job is over. Being around my children so much of the time gave me the chance to focus on them at a granular level.
And I feel fairly certain that neither they nor I benefitted from the glaring light it shone upon us. Getting to do nothing but raise a person you opted to bring into the world is a privilege, and calling it anything else is ignorant and condescending. Choosing to care for your own small child is no different.
Never mind that I was still living with my parents after moving back in with them during a mental breakdown my sophomore year at an out-of-state university four years prior. Never mind that I was only employed ish hours per week and was due to graduate a few weeks later with a BA in English. The wonderful, unassuming young man with whom I was about to take this ill-advised journey had earned his way through college as the Art Director for the student magazine, and he was able to start working a full-time, professional job literally two days after we graduated from college in May Once my partner had moved to a more profitable job, we were able to quit the program, and I kept working freelance writing and acting gigs here and there.
We survived the financial crisis which happened the week we were away getting married all by ourselves, incidentally , and my husband got a new job three hours away from my family. For a while, I kept plugging away at freelance work when I could find it, but was always confined to staying at home. Ultimately, though, I made the choice not to take the first mediocre full-time job that came along that required me to not be with my daughter in her early years in exchange for a paycheck that would just go back into childcare.
That was a gift.
1More moms are staying home: The share of mothers who do not work outside the home has risen over the past decade, reversing a long-term decline in stay-at-home mothers. (In the U.S. today, 71% of all mothers work outside the home.). Hard Choice for Moms: Work or Stay Home? "If your employer is not flexible of working parents then it's going to make working that much harder," says Morgan Steiner. If . Regardless of whether you stay home or work, It's important to note that, while the numbers for stay-at-home moms do support Gallup's results, the difference in most of the percentages isn't a huge gap. For example, the number of stay-at-home moms who feel they're struggling is 42%, compared to 36% of working moms.